For a bit over five and half years now I have successfully been masking, disassociating, distancing, denying, ignoring <insert any other...

So there’s a funny story about the next month - I’ve been prescribed a month of not working. No checking work emails occasionally; doing...

Five years. Half a decade. How can it be half a fucking decade since Pete died? For some reason, like the first year, the five year...

I talk a lot. (This is not a new realisation) I always have. But I talk a lot about navigating my life as a widow, and about Pete even...

It’s 4 years ago that I first started blogging about this whole circus that is my life. Like back then, I’ve written this post on the...

The duality of what we deal with in our family is so weird. I mean - we have this hurt that shrouds so much of what we do - but we also...

There's a spot on the sides of my rib cage, where muscles join, that when shit is going down in the outside world, it cramps up and when...

This week a child had to have a blood test and they went an awful shade of white and the last time I saw someone that colour it was their...

The flip side of thinking about all the things we have done in 2022, and noting that it's been 5 hard years, is the absolute deep seated...

I always get to this time of year and take a big deep breath at what we have done in the last year and about what is to come next. 2023...

I’ve written so many posts that I have deleted or just left in draft form recently. Posts about my hard. Posts about my anger. Posts that...

The Fuckening has taken me right back to what I feel is square one of having zero idea of how to handle the situation I'm in. Actually,...

Monty Python movies aren't generally viewed as inspirational. But for now, I think I'm going to view them as such ... for a couple of...

So this whole deal with learning to find how to fight my way through The Fuckening seems to be a bit taxing. Annoyingly, I'm responsible...

I am currently experiencing the full force of The Fuckening. Had someone asked me about it not that long ago, I would have had no idea...

There are plenty of downsides to widowing - but there are a surprising number of upsides. There's the people and the love and the...

So this whole widowing rollercoaster still continues to have so many twists and turns to it that sometimes I think it's all just too...

Last weekend it was my 17th wedding anniversary. Except, it wasn’t, really. Because in my mind, wedding anniversaries require there to be...

The hardest part of grief, I am still finding, is just how little control I have over my reactions or my ability to dictate them when...

This year’s third anniversary of Pete dying was weird. Weird is not the right word. But it’s the only word I can find that fits. The...