We now officially have a teenager in the house.
And her Dad isn’t here to celebrate with her. And she has cried a lot about that.
Our eldest child turning 13 is another ‘first’ milestone we have faced in the first six months of losing Pete.
And honestly? I’m sick of the firsts.
Since Pete died in January we have had the following emotional firsts to deal with:
4 birthdays - at which children have turned 7, 11 and 13... and there was his. He would have been 47.
our 14th wedding anniversary
our eldest child starting high school
our 19yr anniversary
a first Anzac Day without my grandad - who I had spent every Anzac Day with for the last 20 years, and a man the kids had never spent Anzac Day without - and so it was a double whammy of no Daddy and no Great Grandad
Easter
the birth of 3 babies to friends - who Pete was so excited for when the news of their pregnancies was announced, so treasured were these much longed and tried for babies
3 x teeth being lost by children - one of which took the Tooth Fairy two weeks to deliver payment on
me starting a new job
Pip starting to play hockey after 5 years of sitting - freezing - on the sidelines watching her siblings
Mother’s Day
a sheep field day where his presence was sorely missed but duly noted with a speech honouring his contribution to the Balmoral Sire Evaluation Group
a National Show and Sale for the Murray Grey Beef Cattle Society where his presence was sorely missed but duly noted with the presentation of a perpetual trophy in his name
every day‘s activities - every sibling squabble and bedtime book reading and dinner table conversation and goodnight kiss - since he left us
We pack a fair few things into the first six months of a year and this year it just seems so unfair that we have had to endure so many things without him.
I spent the best part of an afternoon in tears this week just thinking about how to make turning into a teenager without her Dad special for Isobel.
For most of the week I totally sucked at it, culminating in that afternoon of tears repeating, ‘I don’t want to do it on my own...’ rather than thinking about what I could do.
Then, after a pretty ordinary attempt at a cake (thank you Woolies $4 mud cake and local bakery custard puffs) during our weekly Wine Wednesday dinner with friends:
On the actual day, I added some pretty balloons, a few friends and a dinner out and we negotiated the actual day in an ok, sort of, fashion.
Now we just need to steel ourselves for rest of the year - one more child’s birthday, 2 sheep industry events which are honouring him in some way, Father’s day, a turn out at the local races without him and then Christmas.
So really, from this angle, the second half of the year is looking a bit easier to negotiate ...
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