I can do this … and other lies I tell myself to do things my brain tells me I can’t.

Sovereign Hill was always somewhere Pete and I wanted to take the kids. We talked endlessly about wanting to. But just never got around to it … we were trying to find the time. Waiting till the kids got older. All the usual reasons.

We were meant to be in Brisbane this weekend. Seeing some chief villagers we miss desperately. But covid put paid to that.

So seeking alternatives that I could do at the last minute that wasn’t booked out these holidays when apparently all of Victoria is holidaying at home was challenging.

So I bit the bullet and decided I’d take the kids to Sovereign Hill.

I had all sorts of complexes over it in general, and even more when I realised I’d accidentally bought tickets for it today instead of yesterday.

It’s a Sunday.

In Ballarat.

I’d be driving home late at night.

Recreating so many similar instances to the day Pete died.

I really thought I’d set myself up for failure, some out of pocket cost and letting the kids down by not being able to do it.

And then I decided that I was going to attempt to overrule my brain.

What if it was ok and I was just completely overthinking it and giving too much credence to my thoughts and we missed out on a great opportunity to finally do it?

So I decided I was going to steel myself and just do it, then maybe I could prove to my own brain that I could still be capable (despite my brain space of the last little while actually being very correct in its measure of incapababilities)

And it helped that by chance some chief villagers were going today, too.

So we had company there. Company for dinner.

And someone checking up on me driving home who was only a few kilometres away if it did all go pear-shaped.

There were weird bits of today. I definitely sang a lot (I’m sure to the kids disgust) driving home to try and fend over WAY too much over thinking. Kids stayed awake for me knowing it was challenging. It was fine. It was ok. The day was fun. The foam snow was fun. The kids really enjoyed it. They have all told me wish they could have done it with Pete.

But we did it.

And I only had to speak sternly to my brain a couple of times.